Sars Wars

Director: Taweewat Wantha
Cast: Suppakorn Kitsuwan, Thep Pho-Ngan, Lena Christiansen, Phintusuda Tunphairao
Year: 2004
Running Time: 87 minutes

Crazy comic zombie movies seem to be in vogue again with films like "Battlefield Baseball", "Wild Zero" and "Shaun of the Dead" all arriving over the past few years and now Thailand has entered the ranks of this spaced out genre with the absolutely ludicrously delightful SARS WARS - that begins at silly and only escalates from there to complete foolishness. This film refuses to take itself seriously for even an iota of a nanosecond and exists only to try and generate laughs - sometimes successfully, sometimes not - but it tries so eagerly like a dog bringing you the slippers that it’s hard not to feel affection for this loopy contraption. They throw everything into this film from school girls in short skirts with axes to a condominium full of munching zombies to heroes with magic swords that need batteries to a killing fetus baby on the loose. As one character looks around at the situation and sees the zombies, a giant boa constrictor and C4 explosives set to go off; he remarks, "We are in deep shit". No kidding. With more severed body parts and exploding heads than a heavy metal concert weekend, this is strictly for those who like their movies idiotic, fast moving, bloody, zany and very fun. No Mensa's need apply.

A group of bad guys headed by Yai (Sumlek Sakdigel) kidnap the daughter of a wealthy businessman by distracting her bodyguards with a bikini clad babe on the side of the road - who later of course turns out to be a man - what's a Thai comedy without at least one gender bender moment - and expect an even freakier one later on that will make you gurgle with absurd pleasure. A ransom tape is sent to the father explaining that if they don't receive money then the girl Lia (Phintusuda Tunphairao) will become more intimately involved with a long vegetable than she probably wants to. The father goes to Master Tape (Thep Pho-Ngan - "Killer Tattoo") to hire him to rescue Lia, but instead the Master suggests that his much younger stud assistant Khun (Suppakorn Kitsuwan - "Monrak Transistor" and "Tears of the Black Tiger") do the duties of rescuing Lia.
Meanwhile, as a spokesperson for the Thai government is crowing about eradicating all viruses in Thailand, a busy little insect has flown out of a corpse in Africa and is merrily making its way to Thailand carrying the SARS virus – which kills you in quick time and turns you into a zombie soon afterwards. Its first victim is a falang (played by Andrew Biggs - a well-known writer/host in Thailand) who after being bit begins to spew bile upon others and helps begin a mass infection of the apartment dwellers of a certain condo - a certain high-rise condo in which the kidnappers are holding Lai. Master Tape and Khun figure out the location because the villains put their return address on the ransom package. It only gets sillier - a pet boa constrictor eats an infected cat and turns into a giant killer, a pregnant woman is bit and her baby bursts out of her stomach with a deep hunger, a female scientist (Lena Christiansen - "Tesseract") goes into the building with a vaccine and loses her clothes and has to go the rest of the film dressed in black mesh lingerie and leather short shorts (and has to perform a go-go dance to start someone's heart up again), there is a sex act called "Crouching Tiger Eats Noodles", a disco full of oxygen tank hipsters turn into zombies, there is a Kill Bill like anime flashback and the building is about to be blown up. Master Tape turns to the audience after one more absurd turn of events and says, "Well you've watched it this far" and high fives Khun. And so we have! You have to be in the right mood for this over the top burbling blood gushing illogical oddity, but if you are enjoy, open a beer and bite the person next to you.

My rating for this film: 7.5