Director: Tsui Hark
Year: 2002
Rating: 3.0
In Cantonese.
After years of having this dvd, I finally worked up the courage to watch
it. This film has a worse reputation than a serial killer of children. To
be kept at a safe distance and sworn to silence. Never to be mentioned in
polite society. But I had to face my fears and watch it. And here I am to
write about it. Next I conquer my fear of heights and sushi. This film is
not the worst thing you will ever watch though I have seen reviews contesting
that. What might make it feel that way is that it was directed by Tsui Hark
and choreographed by Yuen Wo-ping. Two legends who deserve that title. Between
them many of the greatest Hong Kong films were produced. So how now brown
cow did this happen?
The answer is simple and yet not entirely satisfying. The West. Tsui and
Yuen were infected by their works in the West. And this film was clearly
made with a Western audience in mind. Their thinking must have gone along
the same line as Mikey who will eat anything in the cereal ads. Western audiences
will eat anything as long as there are loud sounds, special effects and people
being pummeled. Nothing else can explain it - after Double Team and Knock
Off Tsui thought he could dumb down a film to its pure essence and nobody
would notice or care. This was really the beginning of an eight year gap
of quality films on his resume. A black hole. He went to America for the
money but caught a virus and brought it back to Hong Kong. He had lost his
ability to make audiences care about his characters that comes from a childlike
innocence that shows up in his best films. It wasn't really till Detective
Dee in 2010 that he regained some of that magic.
I mentioned that I watched this in Cantonese because the film was shot in
English dialogue and most of the actors are non-Chinese speaking. It was
later dubbed into Cantonese. How about this as a cast - Andy Lau, Cecilia
Cheung, Louis Koo, Jordan Chan, Lau Ching-wan, Chapman To, Raymond Wong Ho-yin,
Cherrie Ying, Michael Tse and Patrick Tam. A hell of a cast! A dubbing cast
unfortunately, The cast on screen was not quite as exciting. Andy On in his
debut is the Black Mask (but Andy Lau dubs him), Scott Adkins as Lang is
an unrecognizable villain with his thick googles, some names that might mean
something in the wrestling world and Traci Elizabeth Lords as Chameleon.
Yes, that Traci Lords. I thought the Elizabeth was there to differentiate
her from the famous porn star but that is her. In part 2 of her film career.
The one where she keeps her clothes on and her mouth shut. Being Chameleon
was fitting.
The story is so stupid and confusing that it embarrasses me to relate it.
But Black Mask (Jet Li in the first one) needs a geneticist to stop his body
from dying but his creators want him dead and so kill all the geneticists
around the world. In an unnamed city - though filmed in Thailand with elephants
- the Black Mask has identified one more geneticist who might be able to
help him. She is Dr. Leung played by Teresa Maria Herrera. She has a problem
though - if she touches a man she freezes - literally - for hours. At the
same time in this city a scientist (Tobin Bell) has injected his wrestlers
with a DNA serum that eventually turns them into animals - an iguana, a snake,
a wolf and so forth with immense strength. Big ones. And the Black Mask has
to battle them as well and then Lang returns after missing most of the film.
And why not. No different than lots of fantasy or super hero movies except
it is done so dreadfully badly. Painfully so. And what is mystifying is how
awkward the action choreography is. It is like the action choreography of
thirty years previously and the flying about has no grace. I think Yuen Wo-ping
was able to bring his crew along and the stunt people were a combination
of Thais and Chinese. Why is it so ugly you have to wonder. The fast cutting
confusing editing didn't help. This is when you want a Woody Allen
moment - no, not marrying your daughter - when Yuen is in a movie line and
I can ask him. I am sure there was a reason. I will probably go to my grave
not knowing though. I give this a generous 3.0 because deep down I
am a nice guy.
