Come to me my pretty. This Chinese Mainland
wuxia film is like sinking into a pool of multi-colored cotton candy. Looks
good, tastes way too sweet. Everything including the actors look like they
are freshly scrubbed with Clorox. It sparkles, it shines. I expected the
film to break into song like Maria in West Side Story "I'm so pretty". For
the most part I have avoided the Mainland wuxia films over the past decade
or so - even though for all intents they have taken that genre away from
Hong Kong with big budgets and laid-on thick special effects. Partly because
I am lazy and the idea of trying to get to know a new set of actors with
names that I can't possibly pronounce or remember. Also, because if I need
a wuxia hit, there are still plenty of Shaw Brothers films that I have yet
to see. Some great ones by reputation. China clearly hit its stride in wuxia
films back in the early part of the century with Hero, House of the Flying
Daggers and Banquet - all gorgeous films but with a backbone. I get the impression
that lately their wuxia films have become soft and too focused on CGI over
story and so have kept my distance. This film did not change that impression.
But I made an exception for this one because
I had intended to see it here in Thailand last year but circumstances kept
me away and also because the film has some strong links to Hong Kong - the
main one being the director Ching Siu-tung, who along with Tsui Hark remade
the wuxia film in Hong Kong back in the 1980s and 90's but has mainly been
absent of late. And if you look at the actor credits, it has a remarkable
group of older Hong Kong actors from the good old days - David Chiang, Norman
Chu, Xin Xin Xiong, Cecilia Yip and Leung Kar-yan. Unfortunately, they are
nearly unrecognizable behind their beards (except Cecilia of course) - and
perhaps age - and are certainly not the major players in the film. The majority
of the acting duties fall to a group of young actors who have the heft of
dandelion dust floating in the wind. Two of them are pop idols and it didn't
take a genius to guess that. Absolutely vapid - but so is the film for most
of it. It has the artificiality of a heart valve. The warmth and friendships
all feel so manufactured and as unreal as the sets.
It sort of wants to be Harry Potter with
all the different schools of martial arts disciples in their various colored
outfits - their young annoying faces - insufferable acting - zero characterization.
It even has a school competition of martial arts that has the excitement
of a wet sponge. A brief plot summary if I might - there are a number of
friendly schools all under the Cyan Cloud Sect. They are all good guys who
spend much of their time using silk to fly about. Oddly, none of the martial
arts is even mildly impressive. All wires and special effects. Did I mention
that there is a dragon that shows up for one minute to snack - literally
to snack - and never returns. Xiaofan belongs to one of the groups and he
is the low man on the totem pole - the cook. Until he finds this stick that
gives him powers that he doesn't understand or control. Or as Trump would
say Super Duper Powers.
So for 75 minutes I thought this was just
completely light adolescent fluff - lovely looking fluff - some imagination
by the designers for sure - but it was so juvenile - in particular from the
lead character that I thought this must have been for children. Especially
with an animated monkey hanging around. At that point I was watching it mainly
for the three very attractive females in the cast. Yes, I am that shallow.
Then boom. The evil Ghost King makes a very late entrance and turns the film
on its head in a second. Where were you before I ask plaintively. Playing
coy?
It gets good really fast with some of the
best designed creepy looking bad guys I have seen in a while - this puppet
master and his deadly puppet, the boar man, a man who can suck bodies into
him, an albino screaming female that would make you lose your lunch. And
all of a sudden all these characters you have become vaguely familiar with
begin getting killed - and I was what the hell just happened. Children would
be crying in the theater. Parents would want their money back. I can't say
this ending makes the film worthwhile but at least I didn't throw it in a
ditch afterwards. If only they had done this earlier and left at the cutesy
stuff on the editing floor. Ching Siu-tung saved all his cool stuff for the
end. Yet, this was a big hit in China so what do I know.
This is based on a novel from Xiao Ding
titled Zhu Xian that has already been made into a TV show.
