The Twins Effect II
       
Director: Corey Yuen & Patrick Leung
Year:  2004
Rating: 5.5
Do you still remember The Twins? They hit the Hong Kong entertainment scene in 2002 and captured the city like an invading army for the next six years. They were in every nook and cranny of Hong Kong, everywhere you turned you were struck by a smiling image of these two young female pop phenomenons. Top of the pop charts, movies, fashion, advertisements for everything and anything, fan clubs, magazine layouts and TV. I don't think there had been anything like it before. Or since. Total wall to wall full press marketing. They were adored. They brought some happiness and spirit to Hong Kong that was in a count down towards 2047. Now admittedly like most manufactured pop stars, they didn't have all that much talent but what they had was much more marketable - infinite cuteness. You can't measure it or apply reason to it - it is just there. The Twins were like Bambi and Hello Kitty x 10. All goofiness, charm and innocence. They bounce off each other like beach balls in competition to out charm the other. Charlene Choi has the thin lipped pout down to an art form and is as bubbly as a shaken can of Coke while Gillian Chung was a little more serious, calm but with milky soft eyes that could hook a large fish at fifty yards.





They starred in eight films and showed up in a couple of others. Basically fluffy fun nonsensical films that had some well choreographed action of the fantastical sort with wires and not a lot of skill needed. And then it all crumbled down. Some asshole (another actor Edison Chen) took photos of Gillian having sex with him (other actresses as well) and when he took in his computer to be fixed they were discovered by the shop and put on the Internet - they may still be looking for his body pieces because he hurt a lot of people and money. So much for that innocent image of the sweet Twins. Gillian took a year or two off and Charlene went on with her solo career. They later did get together for two albums but no more films. Their solo careers are ok - Charlene doing better I think but the magic of The Twins is gone. Anyway, in the time of Covid with the airways filled with 24 hours of bad news I thought I would relax with a couple of their films that I never saw. Stupid fun is exactly what I am looking for. And infinite cuteness.





This one has all those attributes - dreadful on so many levels - totally ridiculous - silly to the nth degree - and yet in its own unique way once you accept it for what it is, it is just silly fun, not to be taken seriously for a moment. Which it would literally be impossible to do from the first second. The company that produced this and that managed their career was Emperor, a colossal entertainment conglomerate with supposed ties to the triads (thus the body parts comment). But they had the resources to make a big budget film and bring on a lot of big names. This has great production values - big absurd sets and enough extras to fill a stadium all with brilliant colorful costumes. And all they had to do was snap their fingers to get cameos from Jackie Chan (before Hong Kong hated him), Edison Chen (before Hong Kong hated him) and in small roles Tony Leung Ka-fai (before Hong Kong hated him), Daniel Wu, Fan Bing Bing and Donnie Yen who oddly gets top billing but is in it only sparingly.





It is a fantasy comedy period piece. In no way related to first Twins Effect. It takes place in some mythical place and time in which the women rule the land, make men slaves (or dumb bells as it is translated) and objects of sexual pleasure and in which there is an evil sorceress Queen (Qu Ying) on the throne who had her heart broken years ago by Daniel Wu. Wu is now her castrated (by her) Chief Enforcer who is forced to wear this pernicious pointy evil looking black pointy headgear as punishment. I guess. Being castrated wasn't enough? Under him as junior enforcers are Gillian and Fan Bing Bing who spend much of their time trying to kill each other. Charlene is a seller of Dumb Bells who won't let a nickel get by her. There is a prophecy as there always is in films with an evil queen that a man will find the sword Excalibur and overthrow her.





Gillian is given the job of finding out who this man is and killing him while Charlene is given the job from a massive female General (Xie Jing-jing) to find a man whose ears turn red when he sees a pretty girl and bring him to her. The two men-boys they end up with are played by Jaycee Chan (son of Jackie (before he was hated by HK)) and Wilson Chen who do their best to be cuter than the Twins but of course that is an impossible task. It would take a car load of kittens to come close. Lots of highly wired action scenes that will make purists reach for a barf bag and a convoluted plot, acting that is almost invisible to the eye but what can I say, it was just what I needed.




Should you ever be tempted to watch a Twins movie at your own risk, make it Just One Look - a wonderfully nostalgic film full of pathos and yearning. It was their first film and they never made anything like it again.