Aka - Ninja Massacre

Dubbed and a lousy print as evidenced by the snapshots

After watching Doris Lung Chun-erh in Heroes of Shaolin, I wanted to check her out in a few other films. Kind of a baby face in truth but always fashionably attired. In Heroes of Shaolin she looked fine in her action sequences but in A Hero's Tears she did a lot more crying than fighting. In this one though, she gets into a lot of action as a blind swordswoman who just wants to live in peace. But as Zatoichi and the Crimson Bat could have told her, once you pick up the sword and kill, there is no putting it down. Someone will always come looking for you.


It takes a while before any of this makes sense and even then it really doesn't. Lots of Clans and they are all looking for the Secret Message and of course are willing to kill for it. It being a secret message, I can't really tell you what it is. I would be breaking the Oath of Secret Reviewers. Men are being chased down who are suspected of having it and when caught kill themselves rather than give it up. This is a very VIP secret message. One clan led by Phillip Ko jumps into the compound of the Beggar Clan with his men. Not too surprisingly, the crippled, mangy, old beggars don't have a chance and all are killed except the baby boy of their leader. Ko is about to bring down the sword on him when Doris who leads the Poison Clan leaps down, rescues the baby but is blinded in doing so.


The Poison Clan is pretty cool - all female wearing bright colors and shorts. They should have called themselves the Hot Pants Clan but that isn't as scary. They are as brutal as any clan going around murdering but no raping. The second in command is Huang Hui-ling and the third one on the rung is the female kicker Ha Kwong-li. After Doris escapes, she begins walking home in blindness stumbling over every stone she meets. She finds a hut and just decides to give up her former life and bring up the boy. Eight years pass and people are still looking for that damn Secret Message. Eventually, they - led by the esteemed Pai Ying - try to force her to give it up. Pai Ying as in a few other films is the master of the bull whip. He must have been very good with it. In those eight years she has gained Zatoichi power and has to pull out the sword again. Chan Sing is also in the film but for some reason only has one short fight.


The choreography is only average at best but they add a lot of nifty touches - ninjas, two young boys with kung fu skills, the bad guys ringing bells to confuse her but in fact provide a nice fat target for bunch of sharp sticks that she kicks through them, one of the boys being swung around at the end of the whip like a tether ball, a bunch of Buddhist monks showing up for the message with their poles, the hot pants girls running around a man so quickly that they create a mini-tornado. A fun martial arts film with girls in hot pants. Ok - so I will break my pledge. In fact, it was all a misunderstanding and it wasn't a secret message but a secret recipe for chicken that was finger lickin' good.