Well, somebody has to watch these obscure Hong Kong films before they fade away into the nether world. It may as well be me. I am not even sure how a film titled Hong Kong Happy Man got into my collection. It must have been a mistake at the video store in Chinatown. Or maybe they slipped it into my pile when I wasn’t looking. The fact that it has Diana Pang Dan aka “Mystical Breasts” in it is pure coincidence. I would certainly not let that influence my Hong Kong DVD buying. But here it is and I thought I should watch it. I wasn’t sure what it would be about. Perhaps on the nature of the Hong Kong male after the Handover. Or perhaps the joy of a home cooked meal and domestic bliss. But sadly, it wasn’t. Instead, it is about three horny men who go to Thailand to chase prostitutes. Who would have thought? This feels very much like one of those naughty boy films from the 1980s with Charlie Cho, Wong Jing and Natalis Chan in it – but this was made in 2000 and seems like a throwback. I guess they could still make films like this in 2000, probably no longer. Which is a good thing, of course.


The advertising company owned by Hui Siu-hung is going broke. Their creative fires have long gone out and their customers have deserted them. No one has been paid in months and creditors are calling. They have one last chance. An old customer comes to give them a shot at an ad for bottled water. The presentation is a disaster and he says sorry – but on the way out he sees a picture of a topless girl on a computer and says, if you can find that girl for the ad, you have a deal. They check and find out she is Thai and have to go to Thailand to find her. Damn. The first thing the three men (Billy Lau, Johnny Ngan, Lau Siu-kwan) do in preparation is rush out and buy condoms. One salesgirl tells one of them “those are for foreigners. They will easily fall off you”. Another one says goodbye to his wife – you don’t have to worry, this is work. She entices him into the bedroom with the words “I have some warm milk for you”. That is Diana Pang Dan. Any man who would fool around on “Mystical Breasts” needs therapy. But men are men.



But sure enough as soon as they land, they are off to the races. And it gets a little creepy and rarely amusing. Maybe the girl giving one of them oral sex underwater and she drowned was slightly funny. But then not really. Then the wife decides to visit hubby with her friend Emily Kwan who had told her “There are three places you can never allow your husband to visit. The Mainland, Macau and Thailand”.  There is of course the mandatory Ladyboy encounter. Diana Pang Dan deserved better but in truth she was in a lot of films where she deserved better.  An action choreographer is actually credited in the film - it must have been the three man massage scene. These sorts of horny men buddy nose bleed films were a constant once in Hong Kong cinema. Long gone like their democracy. Much to my horror, there was a Hong Kong Happy Man II - but without Pang Dan - so I can miss that one!

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