Lady Cop & Papa Crook

                                        
Director: Alan Mak/Felix Chong
Year: 2008
Rating: 5.5
Thinking about this film afterwards may be hazardous to your health. Because when you do, you realize that what you just watched makes very little sense and the more you think about it, the less sense it makes. It is a mess of a film. None of it hangs together. I think it may be partly the dreadful English title that puts you wrong. I avoided this for years because of it. With Sammi Cheng and Eason Chan starring in it, you might expect a mid-brow romantic comedy. It isn't. But I have seen a number of reviews calling this a comedy. It isn't. If you go in with that expectation, the film will really befuddle you. It is a very convoluted police-triad-police story. Most of it is serious. Sometimes deadly. But there are comic elements that belong in a different film that sneak into it.  It was written and directed by Alan Mak and Felix Chong who were the writers of the Internal Affairs trilogy and between the two of them can also take some credit for A War Named Desire, Nude Fear, Tokyo Raiders. That is a pretty good resume. And the interplay between the cops and the gangsters has echoes of that but then Sammi will go rushing to the bathroom to throw up. Wrong movie.



There is also the fact of the Mainland censors getting involved. How much did it effect the film trying to please them in order to get play there? I expect a lot. The film's release was delayed because they had to re-shoot scenes to get the ok from them. The film brings in Mainland cops and there is absolutely no reason to. They add nothing to the film. And the thud of the ending is clearly there for that purpose. Make the Mainland cops look good. Definitely irritating to think about. And knowing that this is an ongoing issue with every film that comes out of Hong Kong now. There is apparently a director's cut that is 6-minutes longer on DVD but my DVD came in at the theatrical run time of 91-minutes. Did he add six more minutes of Sammi vomiting?



The Mainland police are cracking down on the smuggling of red diesel into the country. I have no idea what that is about, but the triads are behind it. In a chase, one of the diesel trucks crashes into a car and the driver is killed as well as a mother and daughter in the car. The triad head is John Fok, played by Eason Chan with his characteristic lack of emotion. He hears the news of his friend dying and tells his gang to take a break. Ok. Let's now shift to Sammi as Inspector Szeto who along with a bunch of lady friends is having drinks in a gigolo bar. The men come out and dance and then approach the female customers. Richie Ren in a cameo comes on to Szeto - "who do I remind you of?". "Aaron Kwok". "No, Ricky Martin and whatever you want, I will do and here are two friends who can join us". Then she arrests them all. So, ya - easy to think this will be a comedy. It's not.



Fok's little boy is kidnapped at school and he gets a call for 80 million HK dollars. He may be a bit distracted as he and his gang had just killed another member of the gang in his house. With a hatchet. Fortunately, they have Imelda the maid to clean it up. Never brutally kill someone in your house unless you have a Filipina maid to get rid of the blood. Before Fok can say I do, the cops are there. They were informed by the school before Fok even knew. Szeto lays down the rules - no one can leave the house because usually these kidnappings are an inside job. So the cops - including Chapman To - and the crooks are all stuck in the house as the investigation goes along. I kept expecting the dead body to show up but it never does. Maybe Imelda cut it up for dog food.



Being together creates a lot of friction between them but also within the gang. But there is an opportunity for Fok to tell Szeto about his rough upbringing. And her to tend to personal issues. Bonding. Then the Mainland cop (Zhang Guoli) gets involved as he is after Fok. None of it really makes sense while watching it but then when it is resolved it completely falls apart. Who did what? And why? Sammi is like a buzzing fly in this - all over the place figuratively but also with mood swings that makes her growl as much as speak. By turns charming and grating. She thinks she may be pregnant because her boyfriend of 10-years used an old condom. Again, comedy. Again, wrong film.