Chinese Zodiac

   
Year: 2012
Director: Jackie Chan
Rating: 6.0

Aka - CZ12

There is a lot of hate out there for Jackie Chan - much of it deserved for his political views and his embarrassing sucking up to the Mainland. Shameful really. He is a miserable human being. But when I watch his films I try and leave that outside on the doorstep and judge them on their own merits. I also take into account the fact that he is the same age as I am - so when I hear people moaning oh he isn't what he used to be, there are not enough stunts, he didn't slide down a 50 foot pole through hanging lights, he uses wires too much - I just want to tell them to fuck off. You try doing what he does here when you are 60 years old. How he can ever walk is a miracle.



This is a dumb-ass film though - confusing - poorly acted - the post synchronized dubbing is really bad - some lamentable CGI - but the production values are solid and he surrounds himself with a young attractive cast. So in other words like a lot of Jackie films since 2000. Every now and then he gets one right - New Police Story, Dragon Blade, Shinjuku Incident, The Foreigner  - he still does gritty ok - it is when he goes goofy that you wince a bit. Here he probably brings comparisons to his younger more agile self by playing a classic character from decades ago, Asian Hawk. Those films were Armour of God (1986) and Armour of God II (1991) - two of his films in which he plays an adventurer, thief and Indiana Jones type character. He is back 20 year later - still a thief but now with a lot of technology helping him and a bunch of young studs and a one stud muffin (Zhang Lanxin) who gets her own one on one fight with another woman and is a highlight of the film. For me. She is apparently a Taekwondo champion and should be a star. Twenty years ago she would have been.



Asian Hawk has been contracted to find and steal these ancient zodiac sculptures from various locations. This takes him on a treasure hunt of sorts and more importantly gives him the opportunity for five different action set pieces - all of them fairly decent. The first one is out of the book of a Mission Impossible film when Jackie turns himself into a human skateboard to escape some Russian soldiers. There is also a fine robbery and then escape, a fight while skydiving, a big brawl in a factory and then a totally ridiculous confrontation with pirates who looked like they got lost from Pirates of the Caribbean (poor Ken Lo was one of them). Again not classic Chan but for a 60 year old man? The film gets preachy and patriotic when it slows to a crawl but that is a small part of it. Look for cameos right at the end by Daniel Wu, Shu Qi and Joan Lin, Jackie's wife.