
Miss Hua (Gong Li) is a high living courtesan/prostitute who is at the top of her game – men desire her and pay for the privilege of her company and bedside manner – and she returns these favors with a mix of purrs, sexuality, derision, manipulation and sneers as she uses men like chess pieces to provide her with a good life. One afternoon an apprentice tailor named Zhang (Chang Chen) shows up to make her clothes for the first time. In an astonishingly sensual scene he is kept waiting in the living room as sounds of lovemaking from her bedroom begin to arouse him. Finally he is brought in and she notices his state and asks him bluntly “What’s going on there” and after he embarrassingly hides his hands over the evidence she demands that he take off his pants. Upon doing so, she reaches over and slowly and professionally brings him to a climax with her hand – and afterwards tells him “Remember this feeling and you’ll make me beautiful clothes.”


My rating for this segment (8.0) – the other
two segments were not viewed.
Eros has received a lot of hype and publicity.
If you are interested enough to read this, you probably know that
it’s a trilogy of short films made by great masters of film. At least that’s
what the publicity department has advertised. In Eros only Wong’s “The
Hand” attempts to answer the question of what is love. The other two shorts
are art-house unintentional self-parodies. These other two films’ near
irrelevance on the topic of love and eroticism should have led to a complete
change of title altogether, and Wong should have had enough sense to not
group his very competent short with the other two. Wong’s short “The Hand”
is brilliant, ingenious, and the best film in the entire history of the
universe, well, compared to the other two pieces of crap. “The Hand” shines
because the standard of the other films is so low. Christopher Doyle should
be the official photographer for all beautiful Chinese people and things.
The way he presented Gong Li reflects the ideal Chinese feminine beauty
which is comprised of these elements such as the hour-glass figure, the
qibao costume, flawless, light, luminescent complexion, perfect coiffeur,
and a coquettish attitude. Although she’s certainly aged as her once lovely,
buoyant face has gone concave, Gong Li’s acting is just as good as before
– natural, effortless, appropriate portrayal of her character. I realized
Chang Chen was very good because he managed to make me feel sorry for the
poor fellow without feeling he was manipulating the audience into doing
so. I am glad to have seen “The Hand” because I do think it’s a beautiful
and an interesting short story.
The Soderbergh piece “Equilibrium” was my
potty break. To begin with Sex, Lies, Videotape wasn’t all that other than
the title is pretty damn cool, so I never thought of Soderbergh’s films
as high viewing priorities. I’m sure this piece has something cleverly
hidden like a David Lynch film, but really, I just don’t bother anymore
and have other riddles to solve. I rolled my eyes royally and started giggling
at all the wrong places. I didn’t follow the story although there hardly
was any. In any case this short was in black and white (as if it adds to
its appeal), and it’s about this 1950s yuppie (Robert Downey, Jr.) who’s
rambling about his relationship problems to a disinterested (who can blame
him?) shrink. Robert Downey, Jr. must have been desperate to feed his habit
to have acted in this short. It’s just tedious viewing: if I see another
paper airplane, I swear I will jam the corner into the eye of whoever thought
it was a good idea to make this piece. I looked around the theater and
wondered what was wrong with me: Why were other people interested in this?
Were they pretending depth? I was relieved when it was over, and after
“The Hand,” Eros as a whole film progressively worsened - little did I
know that the badness of “Equilibrium” could be outdone by the next piece
that followed.
I don’t care what revolution in film Michelangelo
Antonioni achieved before, but his “Il filo pericoloso delle cose" is just
so stupid it’s beyond pretentious. The story is just about some Italian
jetsetters with relationship problems who go back to Italy to bang other
Italians. Wow, what a story. And they needed a scriptwriter for that. I
suppose it’s a “mood” piece without a purposeful script but with erotic
visuals, although the women, even though they were often naked, evoked
little eroticism in comparison to Gong Li’s performance. The acting was
so bad that porn stars are better actors - the lines were spoken with the
wrong timing, and the “acting” was unnatural, contrived, and constipated
dramatizing. One guy spoke American English and the woman also did except
her accent escaped her sometimes, and the dude drove a Maserati which led
me to wonder why they spent money on getting a Maserati instead of hiring
better actors. I disliked those characters so much I wanted to send them
to live in an Afghan cave. Bored jetsetters aren’t exactly characters the
average person will like or identify with. In fact, it probably produces
the opposite effect en masse. The unintentional absurdity of the lines
and their inability to convey “depth” when it’s supposed to is quite amusing
and does provide some comic relief. At the end of the credits I was astounded
to find out this crap had a producer? Where did they find an idiot like
that? The fool and his money are soon parted.
Jack Matthews of The New York Daily News describes
Eros perfectly in my opinion, “When the producers of "Eros," a triptych
of short stories about eroticism and desire, described what they wanted
from Hong Kong director Wong Kar Wai, American Steven Soderbergh and Italian
master Michelangelo Antonioni, they must have written the memo in Chinese.”
The only good boy who did his homework and
followed directions was Wong Kar-Wai. The other two should go to the principal’s
office, call their mothers, and be suspended. Just because you put naked
women in it, it doesn’t mean it answers the questions complexities of love
and eroticism. “The Hand” didn’t put a single naked woman in it, but it’s
far more erotic, and answers many questions about love and human bondage
in some way or another. While I didn’t enjoy 2046 I enjoyed “The Hand”
because I thought it continued the spirit of In the Mood for Love whose
wistful spirit and beauty of pathos was freshly applied to a new set of
characters and story.
Rating: 8 for "The Hand." As for "Equilibrium"
and the Italian piece, even Brian's system of 1-2 ratings is too kind.
