Happy Bigamist
Director: Anthony Chan
Year: 1987
Rating: 5.5
Perhaps I just wasn’t
in the mood for a low-key comedy, but I found myself slogging through this
1987 effort as if in heavy boots in a field of mud. It seemed to go on forever
without any particular purpose or reason. Admittedly, it did have the occasional
good laugh, but they felt as rare as a cool breeze in my sweltering Brooklyn
apartment. The film certainly has a good pedigree and so perhaps I was expecting
something with a little more zip and style. Produced by Sammo Hung, directed
by Anthony Chan (A Fishy Story) and starring two of my favorite Hong Kong
actresses, Anita Mui and Pat Ha, one has to wonder where and why it went wrong
– not wrong in a disastrous way – more in a ho-hum way.
There are a couple things clearly wrong with the film though. First and
foremost Anita doesn’t pack on the lipstick. Some things go better in red
and Anita’s sultry lips would be one of them. When she is in glam mode, there
is no one with more pizzazz than Anita and this is usually reflected in the
quality of her performance. Think Heroic Trio, Saviour of the Soul, Rouge,
Shanghai Shanghai, A Better Tomorrow III and Mr. Canton and Lady Rose – in
all of these Anita applies the red lipstick like an Andy Warhol painting
– bright and luscious – and all of those performances are scintillating.
In fact Anita and her perfectly coiffed lips were often the highlight of
the film. Without the lipstick, Anita loses the glamour factor – fades slightly
into the background – and loses the charismatic luster that those brightly
colored lips bring out in her.
Another thing wrong with the film is Pat Ha doesn’t pack a gun. Ever since
I saw this actress blowing away bad guys with delectable detachment in On
the Run I have wanted to see her pick up another lethal revolver and strike
a pose. Pat Ha simply looks good with a gun in her hand. Sleek and persuasively
deadly, she was the epitome of cool under pressure. In his famous statement,
Godard said that all you need to make a film is a girl and a gun. This is
true, but it has to be the right girl. Some women look great with a gun as
an accessory, others do not. Pat Ha looks good with a gun, Maggie Cheung doesn’t.
With Maggie the gun always seems like a foreign object in her hands – something
to be put down as soon as possible like a sticky cinnamon bun. Jade Leung
looks very good with a gun – sexy and sexual – the gun a tightly gripped
phallic symbol, Rosamund Kwan doesn’t – her face is too soft and her eyes
too dreamy. Of course Carrie Ng looks yummy with a gun and she also has the
red lipstick thing going – almost an impossible combination to beat in my
book – but Nina Li who could out lipstick anyone just looked too doll like
fragile to be gun chic. Another actress that I have always appreciated with
a gun in hand is Joyce Godenzi – you always believed that she would gladly
pull the trigger – but it’s hard to envision Diana Pang Dan looking good
with a gun – too much cleavage – who would even notice the gun.
Sometimes you are surprised by how good an actress looks with her finger
on the trigger – I never would have thought Gigi Leung would fit the role,
but in a War Named Desire Gigi showed some real flash and made the smoking
gun barrel look like an after sex cigarette. Now perky Anita Yuen did the
gun thing in A Taste of Killing and Romance, but with the foppish hat and
the French cuffs she never looked all that deadly, but she sure did look cute.
It’s certainly no wonder that fellow assassin Andy Lau who wears some pretty
odd attire himself at times falls in love with her. Then there is The Great
One – Brigitte Lin. Now Brigitte looks pretty damn good with anything in
her hand from a severed head, to sewing needles, to swords to a bouquet of
flowers, but she didn’t get to handle a gun in all that many of her films
– but this being Hong Kong she certainly had a few opportunities. When she
did she was tres magnificent – resolute, grim and beautiful - hell she even
looked fabulously chic when her arm was replaced by a gun (a gattling gun
to be precise in Pink Force Commando). In Chungking Express she was the perfect
mysterious femme fatale – her gun always neatly tucked away at the ready in
her beige raincoat. In Boys are Easy her fancy gunplay made Tony Leung Ka-fai
quiver in lust. Guns and women can have that effect, but it has to be the
right woman.
Back to the film. It actually has rather a cute plot even if it is not exploited
as much as it could have been for laughs. Plain Jane Anita gets hooked to
Anthony Chan (not the most dynamic of actors), but almost immediately his
ex-wife, Pat Ha, shows up and demands to be allowed to stay in their home.
The two of them tussle for Anthony’s affections – Pat more to spite Anita
than anything – and Anita spends most of the film with a pout large enough
to tie a rubber band around. At one point a revered Aunt comes to stay and
Anthony and Pat have to pretend to still be married – with Anita taking on
the role of the Amah. Finally Anita decides that the only solution is to find
Pat a man of her own – and introduces her to Kenny Bee – not a bad catch.
Pat is only too pleased, but now Anthony starts getting jealous of Kenny and
his ex-wife and begins to act the fool. That is about it. With a little more
lipstick and a gun this might have been a classic. As it is though: