Mermaid Got Married
Director: Norman Law Man
Year: 1994
Rating: 5.5
Its been a very long
time since I saw the Tom Hanks film Splash – but from what I vaguely recollect
Mermaid Got Married seems to clearly be inspired by it - though "inspired"
might be much too strong a word – for in truth this is a fairly pale imitation.
It captures some of the narrative aspects of Splash but very little of its
emotional core. Nevertheless, it has some typical Hong Kong movie charms,
an excellent soundtrack (Faye Wong sings a few songs I believe) and for fans
of either of the main actors – Ekin Cheng and Christy Chung – it will have
some appeal. Throw in an early co-starring role for Takeshi Kaneshiro and
solid ones for Kent Cheng, Yuen King, Dennis Chan, Lau Siu-ming and Teresa
Mak and it’s an easy and extremely unchallenging way to spend 90 middling
minutes.
Now for those who wince at the mere idea of spending 90 unnecessary minutes
with Ekin - take heart that back in 1994 when this film was made he had not
yet begun to settle into his stern and immovable visage mode that began with
the Young and Dangerous series in 1996. This is not to imply that he does
a lot of emotive acting in this film – but he is genial enough and comes
much closer to being a wimp than being a wonderboy. He gets beaten up by
just about everyone – including Teresa Mak – and becomes a bit of a helpless
puddle in the film’s one moment of crisis – but the flowing hair is always
present and accounted for.
Of course Christy Chung has her detractors as well and a combination of Christy
and Ekin in close proximity sounds like it is desperately close to a thespian
black hole – but Christy brings so much enthusiasm and cheerful zest to her
role that it is almost contagious – and in truth who can resist a woman with
a splendid tail like hers. Fish tail that is. Other than her long golden
tail – Christy’s eyes will suck you in like a chocolate milkshake on a hot
summer day. They are pecan pie warm and as cloudy and mysterious as the Milky
Way – and this film never tires of close-ups of them – and not so surprisingly
neither did I! At any rate, what little fizz this film has is almost totally
provided by Christy and her moonstruck eyes.
As a boy Ekin falls into the ocean and almost drowns but is saved by a large
fish. Jump ahead twenty-years and he is now a young man looking for a job
as a teacher. The problem is that he is so good looking that no school wants
to hire him in fear that there will be some funny business with the girl
students. Finally he convinces Kent Cheng to hire him as a P.E. teacher and
sure enough the young girls are soon swooning in their gym shorts. Teresa
Mak in particular takes a gander at Ekin and her young heart beats out the
tom tom rhythm of love – much to the annoyance of Takeshi.
Well, Ekin somehow manages to fall into the water again and almost drown
– but amazingly this big fish appears once again! Who would have thought?
Of course this is actually only half a fish – the other half belongs to Christy.
She saves him with a giant pearl that she slips down his throat – but then
realizes that she needs it back to live in the ocean. On land she transforms
into a two-legged lovely and goes looking for him. She manages to join the
school as a student and is soon giving Ekin her best wet fish kiss. The fact
that Ekin is romancing a supposedly high school student is almost as scandalous
as his new found fish love or would that be guppy love, but no one seems
to think either a bit perverse. Things don’t go as swimmingly as you might
imagine between a boy and his fish though when a group kidnaps her in order
to display and later dissect her.
