Legend of the Dragon (Long
Wu Fu Zi)
Film review by Lee Alon
Through the decades, Sammo Hung has maintained
a high profile as one of the kung fu world's premier foundations. From
brief beginnings as an imperial lackey in King Hu's seminal A Touch of
Zen, to comedy classics like Wheels on Meals (where he teamed with both
his sparring buddies, Yuen Biao and Jackie Chan), Hung's prolific contribution
remains unblemished, despite having made Martial Law for TV. He additionally
ensconced himself in the wushu hall of fame via a whole bevy of credits
as director and action choreographer, although recent times saw the guy
partake in more than the occasional bout of silver screen debacle, including,
albeit not limited to, The Avenging Fist and ho-hum Hidden Enforcers.
But forgiving Sammo this latest affront to decency
stands as a major challenge. Legend of the Dragon, no relation to the early
'90's Stephen Chow film of the same name, has to be one of the vilest,
most gluttonous piles of stereotypical, propaganda-driven crapola we've
seen in eons. It's so well-fed on a steady diet of nonsense, it makes big
man Sammo himself look like a Jenny Craig poster child, and leaves us wondering
what the hell this particular role model of ours was thinking when parked
on the director's hot seat. Adding insult to mockery, LOTD features Timmy
Hung, son of Sammo. These nepotistic collaborations fail more often than
they work, and this excursion's no exception, unless you happen to be clamoring
for dorky slapstick humor, Timmy's forte. Having said that, within the
movie's intellectually-constrained context Hung Jr.'s spectrum of facial
expressions and exaggerated body language does have some merit. Even so,
any onlooker with at least one side of their cranium functioning will quickly
tire of such obvious routines.
The tale opens with Fung Ki (Timmy Hung) and his
buddy Richard (Huang Xiao Ming) hanging out in Hong Kong and leading a
typical Gen-Y slacker existence as couriers for Fung Ki's mom's small delivery
operation. The latter, Susanna, opposes Fung Ki and his plans to become
a martial arts expert as mandated by his dad's legacy in this field. She
believes kung fu makes one destitute and restless, and prefers to see her
son continue life as a busy urbanite rather than become stricken with wanderlust
like her sojourning husband (to whom we'll get to in a second). However,
fate and Fung Ki's object of attraction, supermodel Laura, interfere. Desiring
the young lady, the doofus butts heads with Robert, her other, more powerful
suitor, and mighty karate champ (played by Carl Ng, the cop from Color
Blossoms). The two decide to meet at a later point and duel it out for
Laura's affections, thus compelling Fung Ki to track down Dragon Ki, venerable
Tai Chi disciple and absentee patriarch (Sammo Hung).
Searching for his progenitor, Fung Ki brings Richard
along to The Mainland, a mystical land of quaint villages populated by
virtuous hicks who, wonder of wonders, can actually muster enough modernity
to fire up a laptop and log on to The Internet. Amazing! While not online,
marveling at the magnificence of The City, these backward denizens of the
bucolic countryside practice nirvana-attaining Tai Chi, tree-hugging and
all. But in LOTD everyone's a walking, talking stigma of a caricature,
so Fung Ki and Richard get to represent for HK, a shallow, hedonistic place
brimming with tacky bars and triad chauffeurs fighting cops on darkened
street corners. Thanks for the progressive liberalism, Sammo.
In Wang's Tai Chi Village, the buffoonish HK duo
meet Wang Yi and Wang Yeung, two lovelies with a penchant for pneumatic
workouts and looking naïve as befits "traditional" mainland Chinese
ladies. Together, the posse harangue father figure Dragon Ki to reunite
with son Fung Ki and wife Susanna, and prepare for the coming fight against
Robert. But Legend of the Dragon's sanitized to the point of sheer annoyance,
so forget about real action or visceral gratification. The choreography
amounts to a disappointment even though Sammo's in charge, and its story
reaches no climax at all, with conflicts resolved in a G-rated, smiles-all-around
manner that's enough to drive you up the walls in irritation.
Above all else, this movie disgusted us with its
sycophantic kowtowing to someone's perceived political agenda, opening
with a cheesy, patriotic segment extolling the glory of Motherland China,
and further using such trite clichés en route to finishing with
a red flag waving gallantly atop the village schoolhouse. These elements
are about as relevant to martial arts stories as chocolate spread is to
barbecue pits, and combined with chauvinistic portrayal of both HK and
the mainland, render Legend of the Dragon utterly useless and legendary
only inside its DVD case. Avoid.
Rating: 3/10
Directed by Johnny Lee King-kai
Starring Timmy Hung, Sammo Hung, Huang Xiao
Ming, Carl Ng, Richard Ng, Leung Kar Yan, Ellis Tang
2005, Cantonese/Putonghua, 92 minutes