Samurai Chicks

Donít snigger. Sure I actually picked up this film and decided to watch it before some Seijun Suzuki, Sabu and Shunji Iwai films that I have long set aside but none of those movies have four Samurai chicks in them do they? And thatís a shame. I think most films would be vastly improved if a few Samurai chicks had been in them. As much as I love Hana and Alice for example, you have to admit there were a few slow parts where you were probably hoping some chicks with swords would show up. Shunji could learn something from the work of director Mari Asato who presents us with this very low budget very low voltage action film.

It has some vague futuristic overtones to it. Japan rules over a territory that is called The Kingdom (which could perhaps be Korea judged by the clothes?) and an underground rebel group has been formed to fight back. They disguise themselves as a dancing academy and after years of learning how to break dance and hip hop young women are elevated to study the art of being spies where they learn all things deadly and of course learn how to dodge bullets. As if watching break dancing isnít deadly enough. Four girls go through a year of training and then Yuki (Itsumi Soji), Saki, Aki and Micky are sent to Tokyo to carry out dangerous missions. They receive their instructions in the most logical manner possible Ė through music videos from an idol named Cocoe projected on a giant outdoor screen in Shibuya.

Regretfully, the girls donít turn out to be very good at killing or mayhem Ė Azumi and Princess Blade these girls are not Ė and they start getting killed. What happened to that bullet dodging practice Ė were they skipping school that day I wonder? The action choreography is as slow as mud and dreadfully clunky which isnít too surprising for such a definite straight to video B film Ė but there is actually a short opening action scene that gave me hope for a few minutes that this might be fun. It isnít. Quite painful actually. Not only that but their dancing skills suck as well Ė something they sadly do after each mission. Of course it would have been even worse without the Samurai chicks Ė so I think my theory still holds water. But still Asato has to learn a simple lesson about female samurai films - guys tune in to watch them kill, not be killed.

My rating for this film: 4.0