The Second is a Christian
(Nidaime wa Christian)
Director: Kazuyuki Izutsu
Year: 1985
Production Company: Kadokawa Shoten
Running Time: 101 minutes
If you go into this expecting an action
jamboree due to the cast inclusion of female action icon Etsuko Shihomi or
the salivate inducing poster, you are more than likely to be disappointed.
This was very near the end of Etsuko’s film career and she seems more than
content to keep the action to a minimum here and focus instead on her acting
skills. Still the "Flying Nun" this isn't though for a while I wasn't sure.
The film is a curious mix of light comedy and stop in your boots drama. For
most of its running time it is no more than a lighthearted Yakuza comedy with
orphan kids thrown in to the pot as well that surprisingly and suddenly swerves
into a wrenching bloody finale. It hits you like a sudden jolt of whiplash.
Miss Kyoko (Etsuko) is being courted by two men – one a policeman and the
other a Yakuza head – who both want to marry her. This may be a bit odd on
its own but even more so considering that Kyoko is a nun in some unnamed
Christian order. This minor detail doesn’t seem to bother either man though
nor does it faze her Mother Superior who thinks it’s time for Kyoko to settle
down with a man and to lose her virginity. The cop, Kumashiro (Akira Emoto
– “Zebraman” and “Doppleganger”), has one issue to deal with - his
father is a Buddhist priest and doesn’t exactly want a Christian in the family,
but he takes Kyoko out for a date – in which she dresses up in a sexy bra
and garter belt combo – just what religious order is this anyway – The Heart
of the Sacred Lingerie?
The Yakuza boss Haruhiko (Kouichi Iwaki) has his problems too. He has just
inherited the small Tenryu gang from his dead father, but Kuroiwa (Hideo
Murota) and his men have every intention to move into his Kobe territory.
Haruhiko is more concerned about romancing and bedding Kyoko though and even
forces his men to convert to Christianity. Much of the comedy comes of this
fish out of water aspect and their comparisons between being a Yakuza and
a Christian and their confusion over concepts like the Immaculate Conception
– “how did Jesus get through the hymen?” Another tells them that getting
baptized is the same as going to a Soapy and that the distinction between
Catholics and Protestants is the same as between a gambler and a crooked
peddler. In the end though even after he tries to grope Kyoko in the confession
booth, she agrees to marry him and the film spins off like a crazed rocket.
After their vows are exchanged, Haruhiko is killed by an old girlfriend (Rino
Katase – “Wives of the Yakuza”) and Kyoko not only has to take leadership
of the gang but at the same time she also discovers that her father was a
legendary Yakuza killer. By now there isn’t a sniff of comedy loitering about
as Kuroiwa begins killing her men and shooting drugs into the orphans she
cares for. During all this she keeps turning her cheek in Christian forgiveness,
but after much patience on the part of the audience she finally drops her
habit and picks up a Samurai sword and charges into Kuroiwa’s headquarters
screaming out “Fuck you. If you want to repent, cross yourself. Otherwise,
I’ll kill all of you”. Much to their regret, they don’t repent.
My rating for this film: 6.0