What a wonderfully weird
and cool film this is and the coolest thing about it? It stars frigging Troy
Donahue. Troy Donahue in a Japanese film directed by Nobuhiko Ôbayashi
in the late 1980's. Another fantasy high school classic from the man who
gave us House. How did that happen I wonder? Donahue from the for their time
hip TV shows Surfside 6 and Hawaiian Eye - young, blonde and handsome and
here he is a teacher in an International school in Kobe Japan. That took
me by surprise but then so did the entire film which gets stranger and stranger
as it goes on - very much against my expectations. Nobuhiko had earlier in
the decade directed School in the Crosshairs and The Little Girl Who
Conquered Time - both fantasy films taking place in high school as well as
two lesser known films of the same ilk - Lonelyheart and Tengoku ni ichiban
chikai shima. And after this film he directed Chizuko's Younger Sister, again
a supernatural tale of a school girl. Sort of the John Hughes of Japan with
a fantasy element thrown in. The film is based on a manga by Kazuo Umezu
and the music comes from the genius of Joe Hisaishi who composed the soundtrack
for many of the Hayao Miyazaki films.
On the negative side the acting from most of the multi-ethnic - multi-national
children is abysmal - it feels like these kids were all picked at random
from a local International school and much of the not brilliant dialogue is
in English unless the conversation is between native Japanese speakers. Maybe
Nobuhiko thought this had potential to cross borders - I don't think that
happened but it should have if not in itself, at least in a remake - hopefully
with Molly Ringwald in it. I don't know though if Hollywood would have had
the guts to go where this teenage movie does. Because it doesn't end well
for many of the students and teachers. They die. In various ways. From the
beginning you think this will all be resolved like most teenage films do
- happily - you get the girl, your parents accept you, you win some competition,
you come home to your loving parents - nope, not here. The only competition
is staying alive.
It begins in a perv manner just like School in the Crosshairs did with teenage
Shou (Yasufumi Hayashi), just recently back from years in America and having
trouble adapting to Japan, coming out of the shower naked and grabbing his
mother's braless breasts from behind. I thought - is that what he learned
in America? He has a big row with mom and she tells him to leave and never
come back. Instead he goes to school - Kobe International High School where
he meets up with his friends Piggy (you should be able to picture him), Mark
the school stud, Ayumi the school sweetie and two teachers - Taggart (Donahue)
and Miss Midori (Kaho Minami). Miss Midori is getting married and it is announced
to the class who then break into a musical number to celebrate - just like
any class would. Suddenly these bright lights from outside go crazy and the
school begins to shake (or the camera does anyway). And sand comes cascading
in. It is lunacy.
And a lot of bad shit happens. They seem to have gone to the future (as
we learn later) and the school is in a vast desert (meaning of course though
never articulated that the world they knew was destroyed - a nod to Planet
of the Apes). Sand is everywhere in the school creating barriers and sand
tunnels - suffocating many - they find one teacher who is sitting down and
who turns around only to have sand pour out of her mouth. Lots of the students
are dead - more are to die - one teacher goes psycho and tries to kill them
all. Food and water are rationed. A little Lord of the Flies takes place,
another musical number breaks out of Swanee River of all things. But that
is just the beginning.
First a cute little creature that floats on its tentacles shows up - kind
of a mascot but then the giant crab monsters do as well - one playing
the piano - so not so much Don't Shoot the Piano Player as Don't Eat the Piano
Player. And they continue to die. In the old world there is just a giant
hole in the ground where their school once was and where Shou's mother waits
for him to return. A time slip. I took a gander at what others thought of
this film thinking everyone would love it - nope - rated a 5.4 on IMDB -
people complaining about the poor acting and the cheesy special effects -
both true - this is a messy. sloppy film but damn I just thought this was
great with its weaknesses actually adding to the overall strangeness and lovability
of the film.
