Aka - Impossible
I just finished watching the TV show Citadel and damn, it was terrible. I
was watching it mainly for Priyanka Chopra but even she couldn't make Citadel
any less stupid. $300 million for six episodes. That is enough for 60 Bollywood
movies. Hopefully better than this film. Watching this and Citadel in the
same day killed more brain cells than I can spare at my age. The plot
of this one is as idiotic as Citadel. But at least Priyanka dances a few
times. And looks lovely. I didn't know at times whether to laugh or groan.
A foot chase begins in the middle of Zurich and ends at a castle way out
in the country. Where about 30 bad guys are waiting loaded for bear for the
hero. They tie him up and tell him he is about to die - to which he replies,
"When I wake up tomorrow, I will read about your deaths in the paper by an
unknown man". That made them laugh. One of them brings over a power saw to
cut him into morsels - he kicks his leg up so that it cuts the rope he is
hanging from and then he kills them all. A trick to remember if that ever
happens to you. This reminded me of one of the clunky action films of the
1970s in which a sock to the jaw sent the person 20 feet and sounded like
the sound barrier was broken. On another occasion a man is about to take
his last breath after being shot a dozen times and tells his friend "Tomorrow
I am going to start over and live a better life" and clutches his crucifix.
That hero is Captain Arya (Arjun Rampal) of the Indian Army Special Forces.
Every time he mentions that I feel like I should have applauded. There are
a whole lot of patriotic speeches in the film and his jawline is perfect
for them. But there is also the beauty. Aisha (Priyanka) who is booked
to perform her act in Switzerland and once there discovers that she has hauled
a suitcase of cocaine into the country. She runs off and bumps into Arya
who immediately connects the dots and realizes the drugs are connected to
his mission. Save the President of India from Muslim terrorists. They want
Kashmir or a headless country. Literally. The President wanted some down
time with his daughter (Dipannita Sharma) and so Switzerland puts him up
in a small island's hotel with seemingly no staff and only two bodyguards.
Into this mess arrives Sam (Naseeruddin Shah), a drug dealer. At some point
they all start killing each other but not fast enough for me. There is a
fair amount of badly done action that again reminded me of the 70's films
in which they never come close to hitting anyone. It is like they are in
the next zip code they are so far off.
