Aka - OK Connery

I can't understand how I went over fifty years without hearing about this film till a few weeks ago. It is the most wonderfully blatant rip-off I have ever come across. How were they not too embarrassed to do this - that includes the producers, filmmakers and especially the actors. But just the idea fills me with happiness. Not the film itself, just the idea. Here is who is in the cast. See if it brings anything to mind. Daniela Bianchi, Adolfo Celi, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Anthony Dawson and a mystery guest. Yup. Bianchi (From Russia with Love), Celi (Thunderball), Lee (M), Maxwell (Miss Moneypenny), Dawson (Dr. No and From Russia with Love). Even the Chinese girl Yang Yee-wah was in You Only Live Twice as one of the bathing girls. I am only upset that one of the villainess's wasn't played by Martine Beswick (not that the sexy Agata Flori was a bad choice). That would really have made my day. They even have a From Russian with Love's Rosa Klebb/Lotte Lenya lookalike who also exhibited lesbian tendencies. And Morricone composes the music which is as close to Bond music as you can legally get.  Oh. The mystery guest. Neil Connery. As in Sean Connery's younger brother by eight years.




Neil didn't appear in many films but one of them was one of Hong Kong's Aces Go Places though in truth I don't remember him. I don't know if acting was something he really wanted to do but if someone comes to you and offers money and a chance to co-star with Daniela (in my top three Bond Girls) you would have to be crazy to say no. I don't know if there are other versions out there but this one was dubbed into English and the only voice that sounded like it belonged was from M - I mean Bernard Lee. Connery's voice sounded much too American - where is the Scottish accent. They couldn't find a dubber who could imitate Sean? Bianchi was dubbed in all her films. It is definitely not the Celi from Thunderball. Connery is not a great actor by any definition - but he manages not to look foolish - but at certain times his resemblance to Sean from the mouth up is evident.


Hard to tell what this was suppose to be exactly other than a commercial play for money - at times it is a decent Bond imitation with a couple big action set pieces and at other times a total parody like the Matt Helm films with loads of beautiful girls fighting and wearing pop outfits. A few things I loved about this. Daniela's many outlandish hats that she looks ravishing in. Moneypenny aka Maxwell with a machine gun mowing down bad guys. That must have felt so good after the years behind a desk. The beautiful girls in sailor outfits or French cancan dresses. The blind guys working with radioactive material and not knowing it and then rampaging when they find out the truth. The hidden machine guns installed in the ceiling of a bedroom. You never know when that will come in handy.


Connery who at least in the dubbed version goes by the name Neil Connery is a doctor - a plastic surgeon who knows karate, archery, hypnosis by simply staring into your eyes and of course seduction. His older brother who is referred to a few times is a secret agent 00something. Ian Fleming is mentioned once as well. Neil is in Monte Carlo on a lecture when Bianchi and others try to kidnap his Chinese female patient. This brings him into the case and Lee uses his authority to force him to stay. An organization very similar to S.P.E.C.T.O.R. has a plan to take over the world with some magnetic machine. They are led by Dawson and Celi, who has a small female army at his command. Bianchi is his main operative. Equal opportunity. I like that. It is silly, kind of fun, the most Bondian rip-off there was, overly long at 104 minutes but in truth I could watch Bianchi in her many hats for hours. Directed by Alberto De Martino. Up on YouTube in decent quality.