Morning in America. I don't know how much Ronald
Reagan becoming President had to do with it or the end of Watergate, Vietnam
and the Iranian Hostage Crisis - but films in the 1980s really poured on
the cheese, the patriotism and the corn syrup. The cynicism of the 70s films
was over. It is when Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Norris and Willis took action
films into the realm of the impossible, when we went back to Vietnam and
kicked ass in a bunch of films, comedies got silly with the SNL graduates
on the loose and parodies such as the Airplane and Naked Gun films and optimism
ruled in feel good films like Fame, Flashdance and the Break Dance films.
MTV began to have a huge influence on films. The Last Dragon is sort of Flashdance
Kung Fu. Every aspect of it is smothered with hokum and cheese. I should
have hated this film for just how bad it is - but somehow it managed to charm
its way into my dark dark heart. I feel a bit embarrassed in saying that.
I watched one of those YouTube videos that
people put out for reasons I don't quite understand with their Best of This
and best of That films. This was the Top Ten Black Kung Fu Films. That is
how I heard about Soul Brothers of Kung Fu and this one. This was given the
top slot. Over Jim Kelly and Dolemite. I protest. But it is a very slick
film produced by Berry Gordy of Motown and he throws in music to promote
and Vanity to promote. It is a little MTV video and the Karate Kid which
had come out the year before. It stars an unknown young black fellow with
only the one name - Taimak - and what he doesn't know about acting, he makes
up for with some solid martial arts skills. He is a good looking kid, though
when he got Vanity by the end it felt like crib theft. She was 26. Ok, so
I was jealous. Vanity has never looked as good as she does here. When they
watch Bruce Lee clips together and nearly orgasm, it is as close to sex as
this film comes.
In the opening scene - Bad Bad Leroy Green
(Taimak) is training with his sifu, oddly not played by either Pat Morita
or Mako - but by Thomas Ikeda. As Leroy works out, his Sifu shoots arrows
at him which he bats away with ease until he catches one - the Blue one.
This is the sign that the Sifu has nothing more to teach him and he sends
Leroy out into the cruel world of 42nd street theaters. In a great scene
that perhaps won me over for the entire film, Leroy and a full theater are
watching Enter the Dragon - Leroy eating popcorn with chopsticks and wearing
a large straw Chinese peasant hat. The audience is eating up every punch
and kick from Lee. In comes the Shogun of Harlem (Julius Carry) and his motley
punkish entourage challenging anyone to a fight. I am the prettiest, I am
the baddest. He clobbers one after another as the film plays behind him -
but Leroy refuses to fight and wanders off. The Shogun keeps tracking Leroy
down for a fight. He gets it in the end.
Then there is Vanity. She presents an MTV
type live show with videos and an audience dancing. She plays DeBarge and
it came back to me that I had actually bought their LP - what was I thinking.
Her manager played by a young William Macy tries to get her to play a video
from Eddie Arkadian (Christopher Murney), a promoter of his girl Angela (Faith
Prince) - who is dreadful - intentionally and comically so. The made up video
for her is great because it is so bad. Vanity refuses, and so he sends his
goons (Mike Starr) to kidnap her. Leroy happens to be around and keeps saving
her. It is all in good fun - very sweet - the action is decent but nothing
Hong Kong film fans would give a second look. And catching a bullet in his
teeth had to take a lot of training.
