The Fantastic Four Films
                                 
The Fantastic Four – The Movie (1994) – 3.5



I thought I had seen this, but I realized while taking a look at it, that what I had seen was a documentary about the making of this film titled Doomed: The Untold Story of Roger Corman's The Fantastic Four. That showed a number of clips of the film which were in truth quite awful but now that I have seen the entire film, I can say that it is in fact quite . . . awful. It is a dreadful film. And it was never released. The company that owned the rights was Constantin who had purchased those rights from Marvel for about $200,000 in 1983. By 1993 having done nothing with it, they had to make a film or lose the rights. So, they went to Roger Corman, the man who could make a film as fast as we can bake a cake and for about the same budget. In this case one million dollars. And in less than a month they made this 90-minute film.

 

Taking all that into account it is understandable that it isn't very good. Most superhero films up to that point were awful - Dr. Strange (1978), Spider Man (1977), Captain America (1990), Wonder Woman (1974) and the TV movies of The Hulk.  Budgets of hundreds of millions was far away. There are different versions of why the film was never released. One is that it was never meant to ever be released - the other that Marvel saw it and freaked at how bad it was and thought it would damage the name and so bought it and burnt it. But a video tape of it survived and has made it to the Internet. As a curiosity, this may be worth your time. What is sort of sad according to that documentary is that the actors thought they had done a fine job and that this would boost their career.  Well, unlikely. The five main actors all went on to if not famous careers, ones that kept them busy in various projects. This film if released might have killed even that.

 

It is ambitious if nothing else with an Origin story. Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom are buddies in college and are working on a scientific project that goes kablooey - Richards escaped unharmed but Von Doom is thought dead. But in fact, he is saved and goes back to his castle in Latveria where he dons a very Gothic mask and cape to hide his disfigurements and goes mad in his hatred towards Richards who he blames. Meanwhile, ten years later Richards has built a spaceship and gets his buddy Ben Grimm to go along - and then the Storms - Susan and Johnny. In a slightly creepy way, Richards gets a hard-on for Susan who was just a young girl when he last saw her and is way younger than he is. Of course, nothing as compared to when he got his stretch powers later on. Anyway, the spaceship crashes and they all get their powers.  And the battle is on with Dr. Doom and his minions. In a strange subplot - maybe from the comics - a very short thief and his band of thieves out of a Charles Dickens book kidnap the blind woman that the Thing has a thing for. It feels like a different movie. The special effects are primitive, the acting is nothing to show their mothers, and it all looks so cheesy and cheap that there should be a law. Still, glad I saw it. You sort of want to adopt this film - effort matters - but I think that people who rate this highly were not watching it without some foreign substance to aid them.


The Fantastic Four (2005) – 7.0

 


After that first FF4 film that was never released, Constantin licensed the rights to Fox to produce another Fantastic Four film - an origin story. This one. There is a sequel - Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. But the box office wasn't to Fox's satisfaction so that was the end of that. For a while. In 2015 when the Marvel characters were hot, Fox gave it another shot and it bombed - and deservedly so. Terrible film. Now Marvel has the rights back and here they come again. But back to this film.

 

I think time has treated this film well. It is charming and fun with a sense of humor, sense of the absurd and for its time I think the special effects and the two big action set-pieces are well done. It isn't overwhelmed with CGI as Marvel films have become. They are used when it makes sense. The Fantastic Four has a history - it was the first comic produced by what is considered Modern Marvel. Lee was close to packing it in, but the FF comic did well-enough to continue. I loved the comic when I was that age. I strange little family that bickers and fights, feels sorry for themselves at times but always come together to fight evil. Dr. Doom for example. The Elon Musk of his time. Without all the women and children, but equally arrogant and nasty.

 

A space experiment goes horribly wrong and we get our superheroes - Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd - whatever happened to him?) can stretch himself, Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) becomes The Thing, Johnny Storm (Chris Evans later to become Captain America) is the Human Torch and Sue Storm (the beguiling Jessica Alba - recently hurt according to her on Threads). But also on that flight was Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) who becomes the dastardly Dr. Doom with all sorts of powers. There is a long lull in the middle as they come to terms with what they have become, but I actually liked that part. We don't need to be entertained by CGI every second of screen time. Just give us a human element. And damn, it came under two-hours at 106-minutes. Thank you.


The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) – 5.0

 

I recall that when I was a comic reader long long ago - I would be rich today if my mother had not thrown out all of them when we moved - everyone thought the Silver Surfer was the coolest of the Marvel superheroes. I mean surfing through the cosmos. How much fun would that be. Stan Lee and Jack Kirby got the idea because surfing was the big fad at the time and they were tired of drawing spaceships. So, the Silver Surfer was born - actually snuck into a Fantastic Four comic by Kirby when Lee wasn't looking. He shows up in a number of the FF comics until he finally got his own. In the first one he is a herald for Galactus. And what or who is Galactus? A gigantic cosmic creature that devours entire planets for the energy. The Silver Surfer finds the planets for the creature. So, the arrival of the Silver Surfer is not something to cheer. And that is where this sequel begins.

 

Perhaps coincidentally, the first sighting of the Silver Surfer is a fishing boat off of Japan - same as Godzilla in his first film. He is zipping all around the planet creating enormous sinkholes. Meanwhile, the Fantastic Four are back in NYC getting ready for the nuptials of Reed and Sue Storm, played again by Ioan Gruffudd and Jesica Alba. If you recall, in the first film the FF defeated Dr. Doom and he was put into a museum in storage in Latveria. Great idea. The SS inadvertently wakes him up and he is off doing his evil deeds. Some people never learn.

 

Needless to say, the FF have to stop the SS and Galactus. But how. Oh. Easy. The SS may not be a human but like any male human he is smitten by Jessica Alba and changes sides and becomes a superhero rather than a super villain. A good career move. This one isn't nearly as good as the first one - it really drags at times - doesn't have the terrific set-pieces as the first and relies way too much on CGI - that bane of my existence in the Marvel films. Don't feel sorry for Galactus though - he returns in the upcoming Fantastic Four film. The SS does not but his lover Shalla-Bal does and she is a Silver Surfer as well. Both of these films brought in over $300 million for Fox but the third one planned was cancelled. Now that the FF are part of the Marvel Universe, how long till Spider Man shows up in one of their films.


The Fantastic Four (2015) – 4.5

 

Oh. Ok. I thought I was going to be watching Jessica Alba. Wrong Fantastic Four movie (saw this one before the others by mistake). Different cast. So, there was another Fantastic Four. Who would have known. This one sneaked by my radar and apparently imploded in another dimension. We now live in an age where a film selling $165 million dollars' worth of tickets is a bomb. Welcome to the world of CGI. I can't imagine it was in salaries. Michael Jordan is a pretty big star now, but not when this was made. And Miles Teller as Reed Richards? Doesn't he always play obnoxious assholes in films. Anyway, the film bombed and missed out on being part of the Marvel Universe. But their sulking is over. The Fantastic Four are coming back in 2025! With the Mandalorian playing Richards. That is more like it.

 

It is easy to see why this film didn't become a blockbuster. It spends way too much time creating the origin story. Practically, the entire film. I expect that they expected that there would be a follow-up after this one sets it up. Not to be. I was a fan of the comics and looked forward to my sick days when I could talk my mother into going to the store and picking up all the new comics. Unfortunately, that also included Richie Rich and Little Lotta but I read those as well. The Fantastic Four were kind of kool - they all had different super-powers and spent a lot of time fighting each other. Just like my family when we played Hearts. I think I wanted to be Johnny Storm. Throwing fireballs around would be fun. The Thing not so much. My face was covered with pimples, so I knew how he felt. Still feel bad watching him in this film.

 

It begins with Richards as a kid - a real origin story - who is building a transference machine in his parent's garage. He is befriended by a classmate - Ben Grimm - who is his go-getter. In high school - now played by Miles and Jaime Bell - they exhibit it at a school science fair and come to the attention of Dr. Storm (Reg Cathey) and his daughter Sue (Kate Mara) who invite Richards to join his team of scientists. Ben gets shuffled off. They work with another young man - with a villainous name - Victor Doom (Toby Kebbell). They are trying to go to another dimension. What a great idea.  Johnny (Jordan) joins the team and after sending a monkey to another dimension and back, decide to go themselves. Hey, the monkey was fine. That is enough testing.



Off they go and the dimension starts going wacko and they have to leave Victor there and they come back with their powers. The military goes - yay - we can use them to kill the Taliban. And then Doom comes back. Doctor Doom to his friends. And he wants to destroy the world. He is one of the great comic villains and is quite spectacular in green and I found myself cheering for him. The film as bad as most people say and only 90-minutes! A superhero film that doesn't go on forever. It just felt like it at times. And hell, the director of the film - Josh Trank - gives it a lower rating then I do on letterbox. That is an honest man.