Damn, I was hoping for Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore. You could have called it Charlie's Aunts. But we get a batch of new girls - without nearly the star power of those from the 2000 and 2003 films - but they are all pleasing to the eye. A 16-year gap though much to my surprise there was a short-lived TV series in 2011(produced by Barrymore). This should have been better - it has a lot of the ingredients but something is missing - maybe it needed to take itself more seriously, not be quite so slick, not so chatty, not be so faux Mission Impossible but not nearly as good. I don't know but though there were parts I quite liked the whole is not as good as those parts. Still, I am sorry that it seems to have done so poorly at the box office as I really like female oriented action films and we may have to wait for another 16-years. I wonder if a dead serious one would work.
Charlie's Angels has gone Global with offices, safe houses and agents everywhere. All females. The agency must be bringing in a lot of money. There are no strict teams anymore - just whatever makes sense for a particular assignment - decided by Bosley. Remember Bosley from the TV series - good old David Doyle and from the previous two films - Bill Murray and Bernie Mac. Now there are more Bosley's than you can count. And they are a lot more active than David Doyle ever was. It begins with a bunch of Angels grabbing a big time crook (Chris Pang) from a luxury Penthouse in Rio and handing him over to their Bosley played by Patrick Stewart. But that Bosley is getting old and retires to be replaced by the new Bosley (Djimon Hounsou).
A new case contacts the Agency. A young female scientist (Naomi Scott) has developed a powerful source of clean energy for the Brock Corporation, but she has found a flaw in it. It can be used as a weapon. What a surprise. But her bosses won't listen to her and want to go to market immediately. When she meets Bosley at a café, an assassin tries to kill her leading to the first solid action scene. Bosley had put together a small team of Sabina (Kristen Stewart) and the statuesque and lovely Jane (Ella Balinska). And Elizabeth Banks replaces Djimon. Since Banks is the director of the film, she can do what she pleases. From this point on it is a series of action scenes and Girls Just Want to Have Fun moments. They have to attend a dressed ball at one point and they are dressed to kill. Literally and figuratively. The film looks great, the girls look better but it floats away like a feather. I want that serious version.
Charlie’s Angels (2000) – 6.0
I revisited this film after some 20-years and amazingly I remembered how that first scene went and much of the rest of the film. The things that stick in one's head for years, but I can't remember films I saw last week. I had forgotten though just how tongue in cheek the whole thing is. And how much it was made to appeal to the male gaze. So, on one hand you have three women who can kick ass, reprogram a missile while sitting on it on a helicopter or hear a bird chirping over the phone and know where it is nesting. The epitome of Girl Power. And on the other hand, they are sexualized in a hundred different ways. So overtly in fact that I assume that was part of the tongue in cheek. The camera follows Lucy Liu's posterior like a pervert on the playground or drools over Cameron Diaz in a bikini or peeks down Drew Barrymore's blouse. And though the girls are incredibly efficient in their work, they are dimwits in their private lives. But it is all done in fun. A lighthearted romp of ridiculous action, moronic romance, insane villains, a few thrills and three women who simply look fabulous. Though I am very aware of the male gaze and how much this sticks it right in our face, I am in fact male and have to admit I appreciated it. I am not immune to female beauty.
This is based of course on the TV show but with a budget that probably would have paid for the whole series. The film makes nods to this right at the beginning when the plane's film is TJ Hooker - The Movie and LL Cool J says with contempt to the guy next to him with a bomb, "Another movie from an old TV show" and the opening credits were designed to look like TV ones. Then in a seeming nod to Mission Impossible, it turns out that it isn't LL Cool J, but one of the Angels with a face mask on. She grabs the bomber, goes out the door in mid-flight and parachutes down to the waiting girls on a speed boat and tosses the bomb harmlessly away. Lucy takes off her helmet and shakes her hair like she is in a Clairol commercial. Look at the bounce in my hair even after parachuting down. This first scene sets the stage for the rest of the film - clever, amusing, sexy and stupid. But an intentional stupid. How many passengers may have been sucked out of the plane is of no importance.
Kelly Lynch comes to them because her partner Sam Rockwell has been kidnapped and his invention stolen. They suspect the wonderful Tim Curry in a typical weird and slightly sleazy role as the head of a tech company. Bill Murray takes on the role of Bosley. He plays it for laughs. They identify one of the kidnappers - and Crispin Glover practically steals the film as the rapier wielding assassin who adds to the pervyness of the film by cutting locks of their hair and sniffing it. Barrymore put this film together and got her director - music video man McG - but she gives the other two actresses some plum time - Cameron has two dance scenes by herself; Lucy in a tight black leather outfit and whip has a whole floor of men chasing her. And Barrymore takes on six guys with her hands behind her back and puts them down. The action was choreographed by Hong Kong's Yuen Cheung-yan and though totally absurd and with lots of wirework, he still makes it look good enough. Matrix like. Matt LeBlanc, Tom Greene and Luke Wilson are the romantic angles. This is a film of its time - teasing and sexual but in fact no sex and no nudity. I expect audiences today might be uncomfortable watching it. And I didn't even mention the Yellow-Face.
Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003) – 5.5
Well, having seen the 2000 Charlie's Angels film and the 2019 version, I figured I may as well do the trifecta. I had been under the impression that this film killed off the franchise but in fact it did quite well at the box office, so I guess it just died a natural death. This brings back the same three actresses - Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz - as well as the director McG. The film is stylistically a copy of the first - lots of sex appeal, bright bright color scheme, over the top set-pieces that defy common sense and physics, wire-fu action choreographed again by Yuen Cheung-yan and a plot that disappears before your eyes it is so flimsy. It is even sillier than the first film if possible. But harmless and quite forgettable. I assume I saw this at some dreary point in my life but I had no memory of it. Not even of Demi Moore looking very buff and sleek in a bikini nor the three girls performing a raunchy burlesque and giving lap dances. Maybe I was busy in 2003. Besides all the hoop-la-doop, the main attraction of the film is the chemistry of the trio whether fighting or dancing together. It looks like they are having so much fun. Could be they hate each other for all I know. Bill Murray is not back as Bosley. It seems he didn't along with some of the people in the first film. He is replaced by Bernie Mac who basically does a stand-up comedy routine in the film. That was pretty awful.
It begins in Mongolia in some God Forsaken inn with about fifty of the more despicable men in the world. Their mission is to save a government official - Robert Patrick - from being executed. No problem. All they have to do is fight off the 50 men, crash out the window to about 30 feet below, grab a truck, ride it off a high bridge, jump out of it and land on a helicopter. Not even Tom Cruise would try that. By the way, the Mongolian who throws the axe at the door in the first minute is Yuen Cheung-yan. He is a legend in Hong Kong as a choreographer and martial artist. But wait, that isn't the end of the shenanigans. Turns out that Patrick had a ring that was taken by the riff-raff - and when matched with another ring on someone else's finger, it has all the information on locations of folks in the Witness Protection Program. That other ring is also stolen. Huh-huh. What writer came up with that idea? But pay no attention to that. The Angels are tasked with getting both rings back.
They have fun with this - disguised as nuns, ship workers, statues, motorcycle dirt riders, burlesque dancers, fake faces and more. A flurry of bad guys - the Thin Man (Crispin Glover) is back for more hair samples, Justin Theroux as an Irish psycho who wants to kill Barrymore and of course the grand villain is Demi Moore. For no particular reason but why not, they get small parts or cameos from Bruce Willis, John Cleese, Shia LeBeouf, Matt LeBlanc, Luke Wilson, Robert Forster, Eric Bogosian, Pink, Carrie Fisher, Melissa McCarthy, the Olsen sisters and Jaclyn Smith. They all add nothing to the film but probably did it for free. This film will in no way make you a better person but for some 100 minutes it will give you a few laughs and visual delights.
Charlies' Angels Pilot (1976) - 6.0
Came across this pilot of the TV show and after recently watching all the Charlie's Angels films, I thought why not. Nostalgia time. Not that I was a big fan of this TV show, but I certainly watched a few. It was a big deal for a few years. They really were lovely back then - Farrah with the big blond hair, Jaclyn the perfect face and - I can never remember the other one. This pilot was much better than I expected - a good clever script of them running a con on a few killers. It was directed by John Llewellyn Moxey who has a ton of TV credits but also directed the excellent horror film, City of the Dead, in 1960. Not a bad cast either - David Ogden Stiers (MASH) who looked like he was going to be a regular but that didn't happen, Diana Muldaur, Bo Hopkins as one of the killers and Tommy Lee Jones in a very early appearance as the hero. He saves the Angels. And of course, David Doyle as Bosley. 75 minutes.
