There have been more versions
of the Musketeers than we probably need but I can't recall any with as much
or any nudity as this one. Douglas Fairbanks, no. Don Ameche, no. Gene Kelly,
no. Michael York, no. Charley Sheen, God I hope not. Mickey, Donald, Goofy:
The Three Musketeers, well maybe. Not that I am really complaining but it
was unexpected. These have always been family films. And considering that
the two ladies in question are Ursula Andress and Sylvia Kristel, there is
less to complain about. Of course, it is unusual to come across Kristel in
any film in which she doesn't remove her clothes but it felt wrong to me
seeing Ursula seventeen years after she came ashore in that iconic scene
in Dr No and now in her early 40's hopping into bed stark naked. She deserves
better or at least a better film. Admittedly to a large degree these were
the highlights but it gave the film a trashy cover that the Musketeers don't
deserve. Dumas would be shocked. There are two versions of the film - one
with a lot of the nudity cut out and one intact - I would have to guess I
watched the intact one!
It is an ok film with lots of sword fighting as well as naked breasts but
it never rises above middling. Much of that has to do with the casting of
this German production. A few big names did fine - Rex Harrison as the Foreign
Minister, Olivia de Havilland as the King's mother in a small part, the two
ladies already mentioned and Ian McShane as the duplicitous power behind
the throne. But the Musketeers and King - not so much fire power. Cornel
Wilde as D'Artagnan, Lloyd Bridges as Artemis, Alan Hale Jr as Porthos, Jose
Ferrer as Athos and in the double role of Louis XIV and his brother Phillipe
- Beau Bridges (son of Lloyd of course). That casting has a real TV flavoring
to it. Beau in particular is awful as both characters.
Still it’s the Musketeers! Everybody with a sense of adventure deep within
loves the Musketeers - one for all and all for one and all that. It is in
our DNA. As best as I can tell the writers took liberties with Dumas and
chose bits here and there. The Three Musketeers was only part of a series
that Dumas wrote on these fellows that stretched for years and thousands
of pages. Among them is The Man in the Iron Mask which is within the third
part of this series of novels. So the writers took some from there and later
books. In The Man in the Iron Mask section it is actually Aramis working
with Fouquet, the villain to substitute the King with Philippe and become
the Pope! After the initial one for all - the Musketeers were often on opposite
sides of a conflict. That plot would be kind of cool.
Instead this film has the Musketeers much older and put out to pasture in
the country. But all these years they have secretly been bringing up a baby
left in their charge by the previous King. The twin brother of the King.
Unknown to Philippe himself. The plot gets rolling when Fouquet (McShane)
kidnaps the boy and puts the Musketeers into the Bastille. There is a plot
afoot. At the same time Spain has sent a member of their Royal family (Sylvia)
to marry the King and his mistress (Ursula) fumes to the side. Not a bad
plot at all really though not executed as well as you might expect from Ken
Annakin (The Battle of the Bulge) to pull off.
