They should have just had them swim in a race. It would have been much more
exciting than this. And quicker. The film has Johnny Weissmuller (set over
60 world swimming records), Buster Crabbe (who played Tarzan and won an Olympic
Gold for swimming) and the Captive Girl is Anita Lhoest. Anita is not exactly
a household name but she was a swimming champion in the 1940s and a cutie
as well. This was her only film. Poor girl. It was enough to scare her out
of Hollywood for good. Too bad. There were so many Jungle films being made
back then that she should have done alright. She would surely have made a
better Jane than some of the actresses who took on that mantle back then.
Tarzan and Jane could really have controlled the Jungle. Him the elephants
and apes and she the tigers and birds.
There is no way to get around the sad fact that this is pretty awful. Even
children must have been throwing their Atomic Fireballs at the screen. For
much of the film Tarzan wanders the jungle looking for the Captive Woman
while she wanders the jungle to avoid him. He has his dog Skipper, the crow
Caw-Caw (who goes by Jimmy the Crow off screen) and a chimpanzee to keep
him company though it seems the dog and the monkey want to get it on - and
she has a tiger at her side. Two lonely people. Yet Jim never even tries
to make a move on her. A me-too guy long ago.
So no doubt you are asking yourselves how did this come about. Well, sit
down and I will tell the tale of the Captive Girl and Jungle Jim. It won't
take long. Legend has it that a white hot blonde girl lives in the jungle
with her tiger and she has a vendetta against an evil witch doctor.
Aren't they all. Can anyone think of a kind beneficial witch doctor in movies.
They get a bad rap. A missionary asks Jim to go look for her. He paddles
off in his canoe with his buddies. The witch doctor - played by I am
sure a miserable John Dehner, a fine actor in hundreds of TV shows, in blackface
- is also looking for her. To kill her. It is an exciting race against time.
Wake me up when we get there. Buster Crabbe is out there looking for treasure
used on sacrifice victims. It is busier than Time Square. It is always a
bad sign when you check the time remaining hoping that you are trudging towards
the end and it is only 35 minutes in.
