Well, it is not as bad as you might expect.
Trying to remake Hitchcock films feels like one of the more foolish things
one could attempt to do in this world. No matter what, it will be compared
to the original and found at fault. And that is certainly true of this one.
The Lady Vanishes (1938) is a favorite of mine. It is so very British. Low
key with quiet humor, great actors and a wonderfully suspenseful story. This
throws a hand grenade into that formula. So let me back up and try and pretend
I never saw the original - not easy to do but what would I think of this
if Hitchcock had not made a film based on the book The Wheel Spins by Ethel
Lina White ($2 on Kindle right now under the title The Lady Vanishes). And
I would admit that it would be reasonably entertaining as long as the performances
of Elliot Gould and Cybill Shepherd didn't make you reach for the aspirin.
They are the worst thing about the film. Everything else basically works.
But it is like watching Woody Allen and Diane Keaton on a train do Annie
Hall, which came out two years before this. But instead of lobsters and a
big spider they have to deal with Nazis. They are all a flutter through much
of the film, in panic, nervous - completely unconvincing as two people on
a train in 1939. They are both too modern for that. Their rapid fire banter
may be aiming for Rosalind Russell and Cary Grant but it feels so phony in
the circumstances. And yet their performance is so ridiculous that you have
to appreciate it on some level just for them throwing all caution to the
wind. It is like they are in a different film from all the other actors.
And they don't give a damn. We are the stars.
Plot wise it very much follows Hitchcock. The war is coming and a number
of Brits and our two Americans are heading home from Bavaria. Before that
Amanda (Cybill) gets drunk and does a Hitler imitation on a table top in
front of Nazis. When she gets on the train the next day nursing her hangover
across from her is a middle aged English nanny named Miss Froy. Played by
Angela Lansbury with some dignity. She and Miss Froy chat, have tea together
and then Miss Froy disappears. Amanda looks for her but everyone says there
was no Miss Froy. Robert (Gould) tries to settle her down with the help of
the doctor (Herbert Lom) but eventually he sees something that makes him
believe her. And it goes from there to a pretty good ending. The piano playing
in the end is the same as the original.
This was produced by Rank and Hammer but they must have felt they needed
Americans as the stars. But that changes the whole feel of the film. It turns
into something brash and loud. She is not only an American in the film but
an heiress who keeps marrying for money. She never stops talking and screeching.
When the Germans are trying to push her out the window, I was kind of on
their side. But she is Cybill Shepard looking quite wonderful so you can
forgive a lot. Gould is Gould with a Woody Allen flavoring - likely thinking
about his paycheck.
