The Equalizer I &
II
The Equalizer (2014) - 7/10
With The Equalizer 2 in theaters I thought it was time to catch up with the
first one. It was nice to know that there was a second one because that way
I could be fairly sure Denzel survives and not get nervous. Not that there
is much doubt in a film like this. It plays it pretty much by the rules of
super efficient good guy killing heroes but it was still fun to watch Russians
getting knocked off in lots of gruesome imaginative ways. Denzel is almost
too cool but he is Denzel. I actually watch the occasional episodes of the
TV show this is based on. The show feels kind of stuffy and much too tame
these days though maybe not back in 1985. The movie takes it where it should
be. The best part is when he goes into the room with the Russians and figures
out how long it will take him to kill them all. And times himself. I wish
I could be that efficient at an Indian buffet. Silliest part is that after
killing all these Russians in a Home Depot (where he works when not killing
people) in front of his co-workers he just goes back to his apartment and
favorite diner as if nothing happened and no police come calling and it doesn't
get into the papers. Only in NYC.
The Equalizer 2 (2018) - 7/10
Chances are if you liked the first film in the series, you will enjoy this
one. And vice versa. This is my kind of film though not so much for the guy
behind me who literally snored from the opening credits on. I wish I had
popcorn to throw at him. He may still be there. It is slower than the first
one which is surprising after he does the watch thing again in the first
few minutes leaving a non-recyclable mess on the floor. But after this, the
body count slows down considerably and is much less than the first film which
is unfortunate and they are not Russian gangsters which is doubly unfortunate.
He is like Mr. Rogers in the neighborhood helping the elderly (Orson Bean!)
and problem youths. The only difference is he wears a gun rather than a sweater.
If there was a kitten stuck in the tree he would be the guy to get it down.
Probably by shooting the branch and catching the kitten in his arms. These
films are complete fantasy of course but Denzel Washington gives them a gravity
they really don't deserve. He is so calm going about the business of killing
showing less anxiety than I do changing a light bulb. There might be too
much of this soft drama for people coming in hoping for non-stop action.
I like seeing old guys like him and Liam Neesen becoming action heroes in
the autumn of their lives. It gives me hope to still become one. That is
once my hand heals and my back stops hurting. Then I will be ready. I just
need to buy a stop watch first.